2016 Fantasy Football Recap

I try to limit my yammering about fantasy football because I imagine that it’s about as entertaining as someone yammering about their ongoing Dungeons and Dragons game1. So this is the second part of a two-part series on my 2016 season.

The Draft

So coming into the draft, I was riding the wave of my miraculous championship the previous season, so I had the 10th overall pick (serpentine). The system (Yahoo) gave me a “B” grade, second-best in the league. This would turn out to be laughable as my first pick was on IR most of the year, and my second pick managed to shit the bed at every opportunity.

RoundPickOverall PickPosNameTeamByeNotes
11010RBAdrian PetersonMIN6Taken him first three years in a row now.
2111QBAaron RogersGB4Fuck the Pack.
31030WRAmari CooperOAK10
4131RBLeSean McCoyBUF10
51050WRJulian EdelmanNE9
6151TECoby FleenorNO5Had this guy last year and he sucked.
8171WRJarvis LandryMIA8
91090KJustin TuckerBAL8
10191QBDerek CarrOAK10Decent QB2, provided his ascent continues.
1110110RBRashad JenningsNYG8Was highlighted when the timer ran out, autodraft choice.
121111WRMichael CrabtreeOAK10Be interesting to pair this guy with Carr against soft pass defenses.
1310130RBAmeer AbdullahDET10Probably an RB2.
141131QBDak PrescottDAL7TBD. QB3 role.
1510150WRCharles JohnsonMIN6Taking a flyer.
161151RBJerick McKinnonMIN6Handcuffed to Adrian Peterson.
1710170RBAlfred MorrisDAL7Filler.
181171WRSteve Smith, Sr.BAL8Filler.

Transaction History

9/15/2016Drop/AddWR Charles Johnson (MIN)TE Jack Doyle (IND)Swapped shit for shit.
9/21/2016Drop/AddTE Jack Doyle (IND)TE Dennis Pitta (BAL)Upgrade!
9/21/2016Drop/AddRB Ameer Abdullah (DET)RB Shane Vereen (NYG)Abdullah on IR for foot injury.
9/22/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)QB Dak Prescott (DAL)QB Ryan Tannehill (MIA)Better QB overall, can double up on points with Jarvis Landry when MIA faces a shitty defense.
9/28/2016Drop/AddRB Shane Vereen (NYG)RB Jordan Howard (CHI)Vereen out for season with triceps injury.
9/28/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)RB Adrian Peterson (MIN)WR Terrelle Pryor Sr. (CLE)AP unlikely to be back in time to make any difference; thin at WR.
10/12/2016Drop/AddRB Alfred Morris (DAL)WR Sammie Coates (PIT)Morris was taking up space, Coates taking more of a role on offense.
10/12/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)QB Ryan Tannehill (MIA)QB Carson Wentz (PHI)Tannehill's a schlub, Wentz is a good backup, esp. with Rodgers underperforming this season.
10/12/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)TE Dennis Pitta (BAL)TE Jesse James (PIT)James, at this point has put up TDs in three of last four games. He's a TE2, but he's still a bit of an upgrade from Pitta's sporadic shit.
10/26/2016Drop/AddQB Carson Wentz (PHI)RB Adrian Peterson (MIN)Rumormill had AP walking around without crutches, decided to snag him based on patchwork RB corps.
10/27/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)TE Jesse James (PIT)K Sebastian Janikowski (OAK)Covering the bye week for Justin Tucker (BAL).
10/29/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)RB Adrian Peterson (MIN)RB Jacquizz Rodgers (TB)Even if AP was coming back the MIN offensive line couldn't open a hole for him.
10/29/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)RB Rashad Jennings (NYG)RB Devontae Booker (DEN)Jennings went to IR, straight-up injury replacement. This was a great get.
11/3/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)WR Sammie Coates (PIT)WR Corey Coleman (CLE)Coleman was a "hot" pick. Which is to say, he was fucking useless.
11/17/2016Drop/AddK Sebastian Janikowsk (OAK)DEF MiamiNo longer needed Sea Bass, and Denver's defense was on the bye week. This was good, too.
11/23/2016Drop/AddWR Corey Coleman (CLE)RB Adrian Peterson (MIN)Minnesota cut Ronnie Hillman for a reason, right? Here's hoping.
11/27/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)RB Jerrick McKinnon (MIN)TE Cameron Brate (TB)MN has no run game, AP likely back, and needed an alternate at TE.
12/7/2016Drop/AddRB James Starks (GB)RB Mike Gillislee (BUF)Starks not putting up points, Gillislee on a hot streak.
12/7/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)TE Coby Fleener (NO)WR Jamison Crowder (WAS)Crowder on a hot streak, Fleener blowing goats this year.
12/7/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)WR Steve Smith Sr. (BAL)TE Ladarius Green (PIT)
12/7/2016Drop/Add (Post-Waivers)Miami (DEF)Cincinatti (DEF)

Week 1

Opponent: Deg’s Devastators
Result: W (97.97 – 62.86)
Record: 1-0
Rank: 5
Notes: Dropped WR Charles Johnson (MIN) on the waiver wire after this week, added TE Jack Doyle (IND), as I needed a second TE to cover bye week. Waffled a lot between starting QB Derek Carr (OAK) and QB Aaron Rodgers (GB), went with Rodgers, who was barely outperformed by Carr. Disappointed by the performances of RB Adrian Peterson (MIN), TE Coby Fleener (NO), and WR Jarvis Landry (MIA). Kind of amazed that I won this one.

Week 2

Opponent: Enemkpali’s Haymaker
Result: L (96.97 – 133.69)
Record: 1-1
Notes: Again, waffled on the same two starting QBs, and again went with QB Aaron Rodgers (GB) who was playing Minnesota. Normally, that’s a pretty safe matchup, but the Minny defense is getting better since Mike Zimmerman took over as head coach. Again, QB Derek Carr (OAK) outperformed the competition, this time by over 15 points, which would have cut my opponent’s lead in half, as Rodgers had one of the worst games of his career. Moreover, RB Adrian Peterson (MIN) went down with a knee injury (and was underperforming like hell leading up to that). Had he scored as projected, that would have been another 14 points. Nevermind that WR Amari Cooper (OAK), TE Coby Fleener (NO), and RB Rashad Jennings (NYG) all shit the bed, too. The brightest spot on my team this week was Denver’s Defense (who had a massive game). Attempting to drop TE Jack Doyle (IND) in favor of TE Dennis Pitta (BAL), was successful. I also nixed QB Dak Prescott (DAL) in favor of QB Ryan Tannehill (MIA).

Week 3

Opponent: The Last Mohican
Result: W (161.66 to 133.21)
Record: 2-1
Rank: 3
Notes: I selected QB Aaron Rodgers (GB) over my other two guys, despite his slow start, because he was facing the Detroit defense. This was the right call. Rodgers tossed 4 TDs in the first half, and put up almost twice the points he was projected to. All in all, my guys were top-notch this week. Those that underperformed barely did so, and those that went above and beyond definitely did. I did lose RB Shane Vereen (NYG) to a season-ending injury, but I replaced him when I claimed RB Jordan Howard (CHI) off of waivers. I also jettisoned RB Adrian Peterson (MIN) and snagged WR Terrelle Pryor (CLE), because let’s face it, AP’s impact on this season will be negligible, even if he comes back, and I’ve been pretty thin at WR.

Week 4

Opponent: Romo Says What?
Result: L (118.28 – 127.62)
Record: 2-2
Rank: 3
Notes: With Rodgers on a bye week I had a choice of Carr facing Baltimore’s good pass defense or Tannehill facing Cincy’s porous pass defense. I went with Carr, which proved to be the right choice. Where I faltered this week was on WRs — I started Jarvis Landry (MIA), who might as well have been a WR3, and I started Amari Cooper (OAK), who was also meh. The thing is, I had both of Oakland’s top receivers, and I started Cooper in lieu of Michael Crabtree, who scored 22 more points. Picking the right one would have gotten me the win. I also left WR Steve Smith (BAL) on the bench and started WR Terrelle Pryor (CLE) in the flex — Pryor put up 10, Smith put up 20. Fuck. Such is fantasy football. Elsewhere in my roster, TE Coby Fleener (NO) once again underperformed, and left me scratching my head re: the tight end market, because my backup wasn’t doing much better. After this week, I was not active in the waiver wire.

Week 5

Opponent: Super bowl or bust
Result: L (104.72 – 141.73)
Record: 2-3
Rank: 6
Notes: Coming into the weekend with the Thursday night game, my opponent put up 50-point-something points on me, with just two players. His original projection for the week coming in was 113 to my 124, after Thursday ended, he was projected to win 125.99 to 124.15. Clearly, in looking at the results, I underperformed and he overperformed. Once against I started the wrong Oakland WR (I took Crabtree over Cooper…oops), and once again, Aaron Rodgers half-assed his performance. On the upside, both my RBs, McCoy (BUF) and Howard (CHI) overperformed — Howard surprisingly so. Might be my best waiver wire claim of the season. We’ll see. I was pretty active in the wire again — dropped Alfred Morris (RB, DAL) for Sammie Coates (WR, PIT), dropped Ryan Tannehill (QB, MIA) for Carson Wentz (QB, PHI), and jettisoned Dennis Pitta (TE, BAL) for Jesse James (TE, PIT).

Week 6

Opponent: Wesley Crushers
Result: L (109.09 – 129.61)
Record: 2-4
Rank: Fuuuuuuuck
Notes: Fuuuuuuuuck.

Week 7

Opponent: Block Heads
Result: L (63.14 – 104.51)
Record: 2-5
Rank: 4857483574857845754857th

Week 8

Opponent: Brutus’s Mullet
Result: W (157.10 – 110.87)
Record: 3-5
Rank: 6
Notes: Okay, back on track. After two sub-par performances by Carr, one of which he was badly eclipsed by Aaron Rodgers, I gave Rodgers the start. He had a very solid day, but not like Carr2 did. Fine, whatever. I was pretty active on the waiver wire on late Thursday night, snagging both Jacquizz Rodgers (RB – TB), and Devontae Booker (RB – DEN), both of whom did fine (13 and 12 points respectively), but I left Jordan Howard (RB – CHI) on the bench because he was facing Minnesota’s defense. He put up 28 points. I can’t complain too much, though. I won, I had the highest score of the week by 47 points. Now I just need to address my WR corps, which has been banged-up (Steve Smith, Julian Edelman, Sammy Coates), underperforming (Jarvis Landry), or inconsistent (Amari Cooper, Michael Crabtree, Terrelle Pryor). I face the worst team in the league next week, so I’m pretty confident about my ability to rack up another W. I mean, unless Aaron Rodgers shits the bed again. And he probably will. Denver’s defense continues to shine for me.

Week 9

Opponent: brandi’s Team
Result: L (91.00 – 93.55)
Record: 3-6
Rank: 6
Notes: Worst team in the league, and I lose by 2.55 points. I don’t want to talk about this anymore, except to say that Devontae Booker (RB – DEN) can swing from my nuts. And Jarvis Landry (WR – MIA), too.

Week 10

Opponent: Deg’s Devastators
Result: W (101.46 – 96.99)
Record: 4-6
Rank: 6
Notes: I was sweating this one a bit. Everyone on my roster underperformed except Aaron Rodgers, Steve Smith Sr., and the Denver defense. I got super lucky. He had Andy Dalton going on Monday night and I was not the favorite to win. Fortunately, the Giants beat Dalton like the redheaded stepchild that he actually is, and I exited the weekend with a nice win.

Week 11

Opponent: Enemkpali’s Haymaker
Result: W (123.23 – 106.06)
Record: 5-6
Rank: 6
Notes: HOLY SHIT I BEAT THE BEST TEAM IN THE LEAGUE. Can we just leave it at that? Let’s leave it at that. No overanalyzing.

Week 12

Opponent: The Last Mohican
Result: W (122.03 – 69.79)
Record: 6-6
Notes: Going into this game, I was 6th overall in the league, and my opponent was 8th. I had a slight lead in projected points. Just before the start of the Sunday games, I dropped RB Jerick McKinnon (MIN) and picked up TE Cameron Brate (TB), because Minnesota has no fucking running game and I needed someone who I could swap out for that schlub TE Coby Fleener (NO), and of course, starting Brate was the wrong move. Only a point of difference. Also, I’m writing this before the Monday night game, on the assumption that I’ve won. Because all my guys are done, I’m at 122.03 points, and my opponent is at 60.69 and only has WR Jordy Nelson (GB) playing tonight. Nelson will have to put up like 600 yards and a touchdown to catch me.

Week 13

Opponent: Romo Says What?
Result: W (157.80 – 66.37)
Record: 7-6
Rank: 6th
Notes: Damn. The only way I could have done better this week would have been to put out a hit on my opponents’ players. Every single one of his guys underperformed, whereas only one of mine did…by .18 points. RB Jordan Howard (CHI) put up 30 points for me tonight, and definitely gets the game ball. I need to compare WRs Amari Cooper (OAK) and Michael Crabtree (OAK) — I get the impression that Crabtree has been outperforming Cooper the last several weeks. If that’s the case, I’m giving him the start over Cooper in the playoffs.

Week 14 (Playoffs)

Opponent: Super Bowl or bust
Result: L (180.42 – 103.40)
Regular Season Record: 7-6
Rank: 5th
Notes: Going into the game, I was projected to be a 10 point underdog. In the end, it was worse than that. On Thursday night, my two WRs from Oakland grossly underperformed, and that pretty much put the nail in my coffin. By later in the evening on Sunday, I was done, even with Aaron Rodgers in the 3:25pm game (he got pulled in the 4th quarter), Julian Edelman in the late game, and Justin Tucker kicking on Monday night. And thus ends my season. I’m pretty pleased with how it went, especially my strong recovery from a four-game losing streak.

Week 15 (Consolation Round)

Opponent: Enemkpali’s Haymaker
Result: W (110.69 – 75.01)
Regular Season Record: 7-6
Rank: 5th
Notes: Huh. Apparently there was a consolation round. I, fortunately, discovered that and was able to set my roster accordingly.

Week 16 (Championship)

Opponent: Block Heads
Result: TBD
Regular Season Record: 7-6
Rank: 5th
Notes: More consolation round stuff, I guess. I’ll update this soon.

The Pro Bowl

Of my final roster, the following players were named to the Pro Bowl:

Offense: QB Derek Carr (OAK), QB Aaron Rodgers (GB), WR Amari Cooper (OAK), RB LeSean McCoy (BUF), K Justin Tucker (BAL).

Defense: DT Geno Atkins (CIN), OLB Von Miller (DEN), CB Aqib Talib (DEN).

Lessons for 2017