Five Cars That I Never Want to Own

1. The Pedal Pub.
Jesus, can you imagine?
2. Anything made by Dodge.
Because every Dodge I’ve ever seen that’s older than two years looks and feels completely fucking ghetto.
3. A Smart Car.
For starters, I’m 6’2″ — me getting into a Smart Car is like an elephant trying to fuck a chihuahua. Sad.
4. Another Kia.
Bought a new 2012 Sorento. It was poorly made crap.
5. A PT Cruiser.
First, the fugly factor is a key issue. Then let’s also remember that these things are the domain of the frumpy 50-something empty-nester suburbs mom.