My House Needs a Jump Ramp

Because the only thing better in the morning than a cup of caffeine is a good, hard adrenaline jolt. Just think — I could fucking Dukes of Hazzard my way into the morning commute. One big jump ramp, with the right placement and speed, and I’ll clear half the fucking line waiting to get out of my neighborhood. Wrecked suspension? Crushed spine? Who gives a fuck? BECAUSE IT’S MONDAY MORNING AND FUCK YEAH LET’S RUN SOME MOONSHINE MANAGE SOME INTERACTIVE MARKETING PROJECTS.