Back At It

Officially, I’m back at training. My back, generally, is okay now…the cortisone shots seem to have resolved everything pain-wise, so I’m feeling about 90%. Every so often I get sharp twinges of pain, or tingling spreading up and down my back, but that’s the exception, rather than the rule.

Sunday, I hit the gym and crushed the weights.

  • bench press
  • lat pulldown
  • seated row
  • leg press
  • calf raise
  • step-up (14″ box)
  • russian twist
  • knee raise
  • back extensions
  • swiss ball crunches

I’ll be doing this twice a week for the next four weeks, as I’m in the AA phase (anatomic adaptation) of things. I’ll also be riding stationary fairly frequently, too.

I’ve also been reading Foundation, as part of the plan to rehab my back completely.

It’s going to be an interesting season. I will probably race a few road events this year for the sake of getting my legs back under me. I’m in for the Almanzo 100, the Powderhorn 24, possibly a few other gravel events, and maaaaybe cyclocross season. We’ll see.

Grab Bag

Honestly, I don’t have any super-deep or thoughtful thing to write about, and even if I did, I don’t have the time for it. Today, you’re getting a mash-up of the little things that have been going on around here lately.

Hair Loss

So I’ve finally hit the point where I want to do something about this. Yeah, it’s vain, and women like bald dudes, etc., etc., and I’m even getting encouraged to shave my head. Except I have a weird-shaped head with some really ugly scars that are hidden by my hair. So I’m going back on the Propecia soon. It worked great the first time around (2004), and now that it’s available in generic form, the prices are more reasonable, so that’s good.

Yeah. Not interested in Y/N responses on this one — I’m doing it.

The Back

Three Bulging Discs

Not out of the woods yet. On the 31st of December and the 12th of January, I had cortisone shot into my lumbar and cervical regions, respectively. It’s helped quite a bit. In the red circle above, you’ll see three bulging discs in my neck. That’s the kind of fun I’m dealing with right now. Lucky me! Back’s definitely feeling a hell of a lot better, but I still have limits on what I can and cannot do. Continue reading Grab Bag

Doing It All

One of my big tasks for this year has been to start getting my life simplified and in-order. For me, this is a difficult task, and a challenge born of my personality.

I take interest in a lot of things. I have, historically, kept a lot of irons in the fire — my high number of personal projects have always had a lot of breadth, but not as much depth as they require, and that causes a lot of anxiety — both for me and the people around me. This year, for me, will be about changing that, and it’s something I’m going to continue to do going forward.

Recently, I’ve had some great talks with my wife about how I’ve been going about things — and about how my methodologies make it difficult to support me in anything I do. And I can understand that. I flit from idea to idea and never give anything the level of attention it needs.

First I Need to Get It Together

There’s a reason I’m in therapy for my past issues, and seeking treatment for my ADD. Because I’m fucking done with self-sabotage and having the attention span of a methed-up gnat. So far, the therapy has been interesting — using EMDR as a way of dealing with a lot of traumatic shit. It’s surprisingly effective, and it’s helping peel back the onion layers of bullshit and defensive crap I’ve put in-place to help cope, stuff that ultimately makes me less of an effective adult human being. The big caveat here, per my therapist, is that things may get worse before they get better — EMDR has a way of stripping away the defenses you’ve built for yourself, including the repression of memories.

Even this weekend, I found my behaviors changed from the usual baseline. It’s okay that they are, but I need to find a way to push those behaviors through a filter that Instagram would call “Socially Acceptable” or “Don’t Be a Dick”…and that’s part of this process, too, and part of the next, which is… Continue reading Doing It All

Money Makeover: January 2015

Still at it. Still behind the original curve. But we’re still slogging along with the Total Money Makeover.

Starting in the hole: $74,000. (Includes the fancy new minivan.)

Step 2: Debt Snowball

Paid off another card this month — Citi is no more. Hooray! We still have a few things to nail down:

  • Amazon — done, August 2014
  • Macy’s — done, August 2014
  • Chase — done, August 2014
  • Citi — done, January 2015
  • our USAA card — next goal, end date TBD
  • my student loans
  • the minivan loan

Emotional State

7/10. After a few months of waffling around with some goofy expenses, we’re getting back on track. We paid off the Citi card on the 15th, but we also got a little spend-happy this pay period. Need to get that reined-in pretty quickly here. I’m going to start doing some brainstorming on the earning side of the house and figure out some ways to generate some more income for us. Would be dang nice to get completely out of the hole sooner.

Today, You Are Three

Dear Edwin,

What a difference a year makes. In the time since your second birthday, you’ve changed so much. Most notably, you talk. Non. Stop. And it’s awesome. You have preferences about what you like and about how things are done, and you aren’t afraid to show it. Some people might call you difficult; I prefer the term “strong-willed.”

Someone told me that once you have a kid, the years go by quickly, but the days last forever. They’re right. It seems like just yesterday you were the little peanut in the photo, nine weeks early and kicking off a 5-week NICU stay. Even then you were strong — after a moment of holding my own breath when you first came out quiet, you started to yell, and you got an 8 on your Apgars score. I spent a lot of hours in the NICU, watching you stats on the monitors, watching you figure out how to breathe (you had it nailed pretty much right away), how to eat, and how to be a baby.

Today, you are different. Obviously, physically, but your personality is coming out — your curiosity, your imagination, your ideas about how the world should work (and oh god do you negotiate everything), and your humor. It’s hilarious and fun and sometimes its a little difficult. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Love,
Dad

15719358816_17e2f7ac6e_k

Scribblings #1

Wrote this particular tidbit on my way to work.

You don’t go to war; it comes to you. Sometimes, it’s subtle, a nuanced whisper in your ear when you look at a dead dog or a child’s toy laying forgotten amidst the grey rubble of a shattered residential street. Other times, like now, it erupts, profane in language and intent, and the conversations it sparks among its participants is no less so.

I can’t imagine that I’ll do much with this. I liked it when I wrote it, but now it looks clunky.