Tsnownami Humor
Driving in this morning in the winter storm we're in the middle of, I was on Highway 36 headed east to work. In the right lane is someone in a silver Subaru, crawling along at 30 miles per hour, when 50 is easily attainable.
I swear. I curse. I might have given the other driver the finger at one point. I decide to pass.
And it turns out that the other driver is my mom.
What a great start to the week.
Yes, I feel like a jerk. But I can also see the humor in it.
Shark Attack!
Normally, I don't post web ephemera on here because of link-rot, and I hate sharks, but man, this picture is slaying me. I took one look at it and started laughing so hard I nearly peed myself.
I fucking hate sharks. But this shit is hilarious.
Career Option
Back in the day, after Dot-Com Bubble 1.0 burst and left me living in my parents' basement, I went through a period of despair while looking for jobs and started to consider alternate lines of work. I would list things like "helicopter pilot (army)" and then list the pros and cons. As desperation set in, the list became more and more outlandish. After viewing the following video, I cannot believe I never considered the option of "Official Team Mascot", because this shit is hilarious:
Brilliant Mash-Up
Every so often, a mash-up comes along that just bends your brain a little bit. This is one of those:
Hillary: “$I == ‘Rocky’;”
Man, remember when Reagan quoted from "Born in the U.S.A." without realizing what the song was about?
Well, Hillary, bless her shriveled little heart, likened herself to Rocky today. More to the point:
'Let me tell you something, when it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never give up. And neither do the American people,' Clinton said in excerpts of prepared remarks to be given Tuesday to a meeting of the Pennsylvania AFL-CIO.
This, of course, makes me wonder if she's even seen Rocky?
I mean, really. Rocky loses in the end. To the black guy.
This calls for some serious Photoshopping. I just don't have the time for such things.
(No, not an April Fools joke, either.)
Ah, Funny.
From the Onion, America's only reliable news source, comes a report on an increase in violence that seems to track with the increasing popularity of Nintendo's Wii. From the article:
...a report to be released by PAW later this month indicates an alarming correlation between Wii's growing popularity and a shocking 200-percent increase in wuss-on-wuss violence.
The Thing About Astute Observations…
...is that they are often the funniest.
And of course, it goes without saying that white people who ride bikes like to talk about how they are saving the earth. If you know a person who rides to work, you should take them aside and say “Hey, thanks. Sincerely, The Earth.” Then give a thumbs up. That white person will ride home on a cloud.
That gem is from the blog Stuff White People Like.
LOLCat Humor
You know, I love the Caturday/LOLCat humor. It's so simple, so retarded, yet so...hysterically funny. It really cracks me the hell up. And that said, here's one I found today that I love:
What are your favs? (Embed in comments.)
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I'm at Surdyk's Liquor (303 E Hennepin Ave, at University Ave, Minneapolis) w/ 2 others. http://4sq.com/6n6XNM [fontosaurus]
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Checked in at Surdyk's Liquor
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.@nickhobart dude this one is SLAYING me. http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84 [fontosaurus]
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Dude. Last hour VERY productive. Spent it trying to get a migrated contact lens out of my eye. Fuck. [fontosaurus]
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I'm at Wells Fargo (425 E Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis). http://4sq.com/6e3CnI [fontosaurus]
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Checked in at Wells Fargo
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I'm at Don Pablo's - Roseville (2700 Lincoln Dr, Roseville). [fontosaurus]
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Checked in at Don Pablo's - Roseville
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I favorited a YouTube video -- Cycles http://youtu.be/-0Xa4bHcJu8?a [fontosaurus]
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have my Friday off, so here's my Follow Thursday: @mightywombat, @veloveggies, @Scoutwell_Cat, @kilgette, @actualmiles, @DoWhatITellYou #ff [fontosaurus]
